After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize
