her vagine was all disorganized.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
