i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
ugly people sure do ruin things
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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