Can i not drive my cunt home
i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I'm bleeding and have questions
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
ok first of all what the fuck
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
