Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize