I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
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