Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
