I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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