You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
