actually, I'm a sock model
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
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