And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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