I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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