Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
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