i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
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