am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
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