we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Randomize
