i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Randomize
