So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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