White coat. Heels.
In the future we'll all be gay
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
My vagina just clenched in fear
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