I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
