I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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