butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
