Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
Randomize
