is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
