If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
The cops high fived after they tackled you
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
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