No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
