You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Randomize
