dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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