DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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