I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Randomize
