At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Randomize
