she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
