So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Randomize
