i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize
