Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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