I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Randomize
