Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
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