So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Randomize
