HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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