Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
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