I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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