a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
