Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
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