WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
