when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
