So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Randomize