loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
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