I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
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