he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
