yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Randomize
