god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
she was so not down for the gang bang
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
