I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
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