also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
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