she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
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