My brain says no but my pants say off.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
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