I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
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