Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
