Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Randomize
