Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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