Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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