The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
