he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
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