You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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